Politely censored
09.09.2009
22 °C
I know you haven’t heard from me in a while, but I’ve been with great attempt of returning into a teaching routine. Of course, in the beginning, the task seemed impossible, but I did seek suggestion from the Chinese/English teachers and taken their advice with earnest. When I really thought I was becoming into the swing of teaching again, I was then observed from the Scheduler who put a pin into my bubble and gloom soured my enthusiasm.
She made suggestions in which I’m not sure if she knew that I have never taught English to young children. Mainly I’ve only conducted classes with teenagers, who WANTED to learn, and adults who WERE eager to advance their English knowledge. In either case, her review was not a positive. She gave suggestions which meant I had to spend my own money to 'create' or find a miracle of printing or making copies of my lessons from the school's copiers which hasn't been maintenanced who knows how many years (do note the inch of more of dust inside) are so temperamental.
I know as all teachers, we all want students who want to learn and pay attention. Yes, I know that is not always possible. Sometimes, a fluke does happen… for an ironic reason, not happening here. Also, I'm doing my best of being creative with Math games and ideas, but somehow doesn't flow with my way of thinking.
After that day, which was Tuesday when I was conducting 2B English class and the students knew of her presence, the lesson was awful. No one participated or paid attention… the students were in their own little worlds and only two to three students would answer.
By that afternoon, 4B Math wasn’t that much better either… I was sinking even further into an abyss. Then by Wednesday, after spending hours on ideas to use math games in 2B and retiring late into the night, my idea didn’t work as I processed. Music was not any better…
Granted the weather was awfully muggy and distracting, but all of 2A had other ideas and again, I only had a few students participating… I gave the Chinese/English teacher the common expression of “I really don’t want to be here” and I already knew my attitude was reflecting on my mood which in turn showed toward my teaching.
Yes, I do and will admit, I’m feeling rather frustrated and this is only the 2nd week of September… the negativity of being told that I’m not teaching correctly or not handling the class is hanging over my head like a thunderstorm. Dujiangyan experienced thunderstorms in the last two mornings, and I had hoped that was my sign of starting fresh. However, to my dismay… certainly not the case.
I’m feeling rather … crappy, my apologizes for my frame of mind.
Posted by mskaye 12:26 AM Archived in Educational | China
The most important comment you made in your previous email is"...this is only the second week of September." You've plenty of time to turn this semester around. Take the Scheduler's suggestions and apply them. For example, make copies at an outside facility. Just because the schools copier is poorly maintained, doesn't mean you can't get copies printed elsewhere. Unfortunately, you'll have to assume the cost. I've heard from other teachers, here in the United States, that they purchase a good deal of their own supplies, For example, they are allowed to print so many copies on the school copier. When they exceed their allowance, they are charged for each copy or responsible for printing their copies elsewhere. Whatever else the Scheduler suggested, do it to the best of your ability. I'm sure she had more input than merely suggesting copies of your assignments. Talk more often with those instructors at your school who teach the same grades as you are teaching. Pick their brains. Talk to other ESL teachers about these particular challenges that you face. As I recall when I researched ESL, there are sites and links for ESL teachers to exchange ideas and experiences.
As an educator herself, the Scheduler, was probably less "negative" than she came across. Her input was likely more constructive criticism than negative remarks like "not teaching correcting" and "not handling the class." This is a learning experience for you too.
09.09.2009 by Jackie